Happy Valentine's Day!
Jay and I tend to celebrate in a low-key way... no restaurants or presents. Just cards, a home-cooked meal and a bottle of prosecco with just the two (now three) of us. Except tonight he's at college so I'm home with the baby... but we went to Knutsford this afternoon and had lunch out by way of compensating.
We met in in person May 2010 after meeting virtually on a well-known internet dating site. I'd been on two pretty awful dates (how do some people do it for fun? I found it nerve-wracking, awkward and ultimately disappointing - before meeting Jay). In fact, I'd joined up in the first place because my friends and family had pestered me into it despite me living alone quite happily here.
I was just about to cancel my subscription having decided the whole online thing wasn't for me. Then Jay and I got chatting, first by email then on the phone. A month or so later he drove over to my place, struggled to find it (the road sign's concealed and the road itself is more of a very steep, rough lane), and found me outside the house slightly squiffy after a (badly-judged) double vodka, bag of crisps in hand and for some reason looking in through my own car window. Glamorous and sophisticated - not.
We went for a walk up the lane, through some nearby woods and back before going to a pub I'd talked up as being great - out in the country, ramblers gathered at the bar drinking real ale etc. We got there and the place was boarded up*. I was by now both completely sober and totally embarrassed.
So instead we bought some chips, ate them at my house and Jay drove back home at around 1am. What can I say? We're both very chatty people.
We met up again the next day. And a few days after that...
So, almost three years, one engagement, one house move and one baby later, here's what I know:
- Online dating isn't for the faint-hearted
- Inviting someone you've never met to your house isn't wise - it worked for us but that doesn't mean it's sensible (ditto for going into the woods)
- Neither is drinking vodka to calm your nerves (especially if you can't figure out measures very well)
- You know when you've found The One
- Dates don't have to be formal, conventional or planned to the nth degree.
*The pub is now open again and very nice - have a look.