Last night I set out to my art class and bumped my car before I'd even left our road. No damage - just sheer absent-mindedness. Except that's the second time it's happened in a week.
Prior to setting off I'd crammed into an hour cleaning, dinner, a rush-job on last week's homework and wrapping some empty boxes for the shop window display we're working on this evening. I'd rushed out of the house with a half-packed bag and realised I'd forgotten my apron. I was running late despite promising myself I'd set off earlier this week.
This little scenario was typical of how my life is at the moment. And the only person placing all these demands on me is me.
Halfway there (cursing the traffic) I just pulled over. I couldn't face it. I wanted to turn around and come home. So I did.
We all have different thresholds when it comes to stress, anxiety, burnout. I think I'd reached my limit. I haven't slept properly for weeks. I tell myself that people see being a stay-at-home mum is an easy option to take. Or that I only have one child and other people have two, three, four and cope.
But the fact is that I've been looking after Joe - who is, incidentally, a delight and no trouble (and Jay is beyond supportive) - and trying to cram in far too many other things. Setting myself unrealistic targets. Being silly, basically.
The volunteering is fun but has of late been spilling into my other time. Extra hours, making things for the displays (like the book sculptures in the photos). I've got things to make to order too. And Christmas presents. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry. Dealing with financial stuff. Making sure everyone gets to see Joe on a regular basis. Being a perfectionist.
So last night I just decided to stop. Stop trying to multi-task, spin plates, however you want to describe it. I've had something arranged for every day of the past week and the weekend coming. I'm working tonight but once that's over I'm coming home to mulled wine and a hot bath. Tomorrow morning's activity: cancelled.
This weekend is about tying up a few loose ends, getting my priorities straight and looking forward to December. I refuse to spend the run-up to Christmas trying to juggle endless projects and getting nothing finished. I love this time of year and want to savour it. We're off to a farmer's market on Sunday and that's as strenuous as it's going to get. Sometimes it's OK to admit you're not superwoman.
This little sentiment makes sense to me right now:
Image courtesy of Tumblr
Have a relaxing weekend and thanks for reading x