Sunday 27 April 2014

Gardens, and other happy-making things



I've not been sleeping well of late. I seem to be stuck in a pattern: falling dead asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow because I'm so tired, waking up again in the early hours with my mind flitting from one thing to the next, and then nodding off again just before I have to get up with Joe.

The doctor doesn't want to prescribe sleeping tablets. I have a few things going on at the moment, what with my mum being unwell, and something else I wasn't going to mention just yet in case I tempt fate, but around six weeks ago we accepted an offer on the house. Surveys have been completed, forms filled in and all the rest of it. The house is officially off the market. There are long periods of waiting and hearing nothing.


There isn't a chain involved so hopefully all should proceed smoothly, but I'm on tenterhooks because these things can fall through at any time. We've wanted to move for so long.

Anyway, the doctor suggested a 'talking therapy' to discuss dealing with these anxieties a little better. I'll give it a try.


So, house moves. We're tentatively looking for somewhere else to rent initially. And this weekend we dug up a lot of our favourite plants and potted them ready to take with us. Some of the bigger ones can stay put until nearer the time. The gooseberry bushes are definitely coming to the new place (wherever that may be); after three years of nothing - and last year being stripped of all their leaves by caterpillars - they're covered in flowers with a tiny fruit forming at the base of each. We should have a bumper harvest.


My mum has planned a summer spent at home this year and wants to fill her garden with all manner of plants and shrubs so we have the perfect place to take our pots. There are also plenty of roomy beds for the big perennials like Solomon's Seal, the euphorbias and hellebores.


Last week I took Joe out walking near his grandparents' house. They live on a big housing estate inhabited by mainly retired people. The houses are on roomy plots; the roads are wide and quiet and tree-lined. It's nice to walk around and nosy at the gardens to the hum of lawnmowers and the smell of freshly-cut grass.

The daffodils are on their way out now, replaced by tulips and wallflowers. Other people's gardens are always fun to see. There are seaside-inspired ones with gravel and succulents and thrift, unintentionally retro ones with rockeries and heathers, dwarf conifers and azaleas, and traditional ones with perfectly manicured lawns and herbaceous borders. 

We went out walking this weekend near home. The weather has been mostly good with a warm breeze and sunshine and you could smell the hawthorn blossoms (one of the things I like the most about having a May birthday).

Something else which made me smile this past week was stopping in a line of traffic to wait as a mother duck and her tiny duckings (at least ten of them) filed across the road from one field to another. I wasn't the only one smiling - so were the other drivers.

Hope you've had a great weekend.

24 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you feel stressed right now and I hope things settle down soon. Congratulations on the house sale, I hope the rest of the process goes smoothly. Good luck with the search for a new place. I love that you're taking plants with you. I wish I could have done that when we moved across the country in 2006. I had a huge potted indoor plant, a philodendron, which I'd been nursing for years. I gave it away but I wish I still had it now.

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    1. Thanks Jennifer - I'm sure things will get better. As for the plants, it looks as though they'll be having adventures of their own as I don't know whether they'll end up at our new place or in my mum's garden!

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  2. I struggle with a similar sleeping pattern. I zonk out the second I'm in bed, but I wake up sometime after 4am and sometimes I can't get back to sleep again at all, other times it takes ages. It's SO frustrating, and apparently stress related. I do hope that your move goes smoothly. I'm glad you're able to take plenty of your plants with you, it will be lovely to have lots to put into a new garden one day. I love walking around looking at other people's gardens as well, it's so nice to see all of the different ways they are made to look lovely. I do hope things go well for you and that you have a good week. CJ xx

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    1. Hi CJ - and thank you. We're just keeping our fingers crossed about the house sale and getting on with day to day life. Joe is fun to be with and fortunately doesn't know about any of the stressful stuff!
      It's much easier to feel positive at this time of year, too - sunshine and flowers x

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  3. I have been in talking therapy a few years ago when I felt life was spinning out of my control. It was the best thing ever and has given me tools to handle small and not so small stresses of life, and the confidence to ask for support if I feel I am falling back into unhelpful patterns. I know the feeling of waking up with your mind spinning and your body wanting to go back to sleep, it is just so hard. I wish you all the best.
    What a great idea to move your plants to your new home! I am keeping my fingers crossed for your house sale. xx

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    1. Me too! It's hard to stick with the 'No news is good news' outlook although I suppose it does make sense...
      I did a course of CBT probably five or six years ago (the university had a great staff counselling service) and it was good but I'm willing to revisit this kind of thing.
      I could sense my doctor's relief when I said I'd give it a try instead of sitting there demanding sleeping tablets - I'm sure lots of others do that!
      S x

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  4. Wow that is excellent news with your house...I'll be keeping everything crossed it goes smoothly. Sucha good idea to take some of your plants with you. With everything that's going on, it's wouldn't be unusual to not sleep well. It just makes for such exhausting days. I hope the talking helps. And I'm really glad the ducks made you smile :) xx

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    1. They were so sweet! I love ducks, it would be nice to have a pond with some one day - although I'd probably be awake all night worrying about foxes!
      x

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  5. I am sorry to hear you are having trouble sleeping, even knowing what is causing it doesn't always help. You cannot switch off a mind that is whirling with thoughts that easily. I hope the talking helps and you can find some peace soon :)

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    1. Thanks - me too! I've had this on and off for years... hopefully I'll learn a few techniques to deal with it better. And if I do I'll share them!
      S x

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  6. Great news about the house and I do hope the sale progresses uneventfully. But yes, a stressful time for you and, as a long-term insomniac, I do sympathise with the sleeping problem. I'm no expert but trying some relaxation techniques might help. Such a good plan to take garden favourites with you. Wish I'd thought of doing that!

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    1. Hello! We felt a bit mean digging up the plants to take with us but made sure we'd mentioned that in the legal paperwork... plus, the buyer is a young man still living at home with his parents and didn't seem overly interested in gardening!
      Hopefully a decent night's sleep is on the horizon :)

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  7. I have always brought plants with me when we have moved - you need something from your old home to keep some kind of continuity. I suffer from the same kind of sleep and stress problems as you, and I think, a lot of other people, so I wish you sleep, good health and peace of mind ... you will get there! :) xCathy

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    1. Thanks, Cathy! And yes, it is common to get anxious and stressed and to struggle with sleep. I mention it here on the blog as I don't feel I'm 'over-sharing' and know it's a comfort to myself (and others) to discuss this kind of thing openly.
      Hopefully I can pass on any good advice I receive :)
      x

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  8. Oh, I'm so pleased for you, about the house sale. I will hold my breath with you, and keep all my fingers crossed.

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    1. Thank you! I've sold (and bought) a few houses over the years and it's so stressful! The physical move is nothing compared to all the legal to-ing and fro-ing and the horrible uncertainty.
      Hopefully all will proceed smoothly and we'll be drinking bubbly somewhere new very soon!

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  9. Very good news about your house sale. It is such a long drawn out process but hoping it goes smoothly and quickly :)

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    1. Us too! The house has been on the market since 2012 and we thought it would never go...

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  10. Hello there lovely ... sorry to hear you aren't sleeping well ... I've found my sleep pattern has really changed since having little ones ... no more sound sleep for me ... exciting news about your house, fingers crossed it all goes to plan ... I love the sound of a glut of gooseberries ... I love them ... ditto the May birthday ... it's definitely one of the prettiest months ... Bee xx

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    1. Hi Bee! I don't mean to worry you but my father in-law claims he hasn't slept properly since his kids were babies (he's now 63!) Not sure I believe him anyway...
      Funny how some people love gooseberries and others hate them. They were the first fruit bushes I wanted to plant when I got a garden - maybe I'll even make some jam this year!
      It's lovely outdoors at the moment. Just driving Joe through the fields to playgroup is so pretty with all the yellow rapeseed flowers. Hope you're having a good week x

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  11. I'm so sorry that you have not been sleeping well. Sleep issues can be so discouraging and difficult to deal with. I do hope that talking about the stresses you are experiencing helps. Congratulations on the house sale!

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    1. Thanks Emily! I'm still struggling to sleep but somehow managing to function. Caffeine first thing seems to help... Hopefully I'll pick up a few tools to help me switch off when my mind starts whirring in the early hours.

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  12. I'm so glad you've accepted an offer on your house! I'm crossing everything for you that it goes smoothly and all works out.

    Sorry to hear about the bad sleep - there is nothing worse than being unable to sleep. I often have trouble dropping off but usually once I'm asleep, that's it. If talking therapy is anything like CBT then I can highly recommend it. x

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  13. Thanks Gillian! I actually managed a decent night's sleep last night and feel so much better for it. I tried CBT many years ago and found it really good, so am keen to try anything similar.
    The house sale has had a few hold-ups but nothing major so we're just plodding along, accepting that some things are beyond our control and tentatively making plans to move. It's hard not to get excited though!
    S x

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